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6:57 p.m. : I thought the awards started at 7 p.m. I tuned in just in time to see Hugh Jackman giving Barbara Walters a lapdance on her pre-show.
6:58 p.m. : I'm cleaning the vomit out of my keyboard.
7:30 p.m. : Hugh Jackman is this year's host. He does a song and dance number that is "low-budget" because of the economy. It is a nice move by him bringing Anne Hathaway up on stage since she won't be up there for Best Actress (although she should be).
7:39 p.m. : Phillip Seymour Hoffman is wearing a stocking cap. He was not asked who the designer was when walking the Red Carpet.
7:40 p.m. : Jackman is chatting up the nominees sitting in the front row. Brad Pitt gave up on the mustache and grew a goatee. He now looks like a youth group leader.
7:43 p.m. : Tilda Swinton, Eva Marie Saint, Goldie Hawn, Whoopie Goldberg and Anjelica Huston give out Best Supporting Actress. Penelope Cruz wins for "Vicky Christina Barcelona" stealing it from Viola Davis. Goldie Hawn's lips may in fact be two caterpillars.
7:53 p.m. : Tina Fey and Steve Martin give out the screenplay awards. These two have great chemistry and Martin is on. Adapted Screenplay goes to "Slumdog Millionaire" and Original Screenplay goes to "Milk" since it was all taken from real life.
8:03 p.m. : Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black give out the animation awards. Black tries to be funny by trashing "Wall-E". "Wall-E" wins Best Animated Feature.
8:15 p.m. : Sarah Jessica Parker and Daniel Craig present design awards. "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" wins Best Art Design and Best Make-Up. "The Duchess" takes home Best Costume Design. The 10 people who saw that film are totally stoked.
Why does Queen Latifah get a front row seat and Robert Downey Jr. get stuck in the second row?
8:25 p.m. : Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried introduce a montage of romance films in 2008. Pattinson has had a scowl permanently attached to his face. "
8:31 p.m. : Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller dish out Best Cinematography. Stiller is rocking a fake beard and wayfarers doing a Joaquin Phoenix impersonation. It works better than expected but I may just be distracted by Portman being gorgeous.
"Slumdog Millionaire" wins. Start getting used to it.
8:42 p.m. : Seth Rogen and James Franco are in Pineapple Express character as they go through a montage of 2008 films, riffing on them along the way. Franco is so effortlessly funny. The weed references without saying "weed" or "pot" or something are uncomfortable.
Rogen gets no love for dropping all that weight and stealing hope away from chubby guys who want to get into movies.
8:53 p.m. : Hugh Jackman wants everyone to know that musicals are back. He proves this by performing a musical number. Beyonce and Zac Efron help out. Efron looks more and more like Jared Leto every day. Now all he has to do is start a boring rock band and the transformation is complete.
9:02 p.m. : Alan Arkin, Cuba Gooding Jr., Christopher Walken, and Kevin Kline present Best Supporting Actor. Heath Ledger wins and his family accepts. Ledger obviously deserved the award but Michael Shannon was as equally as wonderful in "
9:15 p.m. : Whoa, whoa, whoa the most deserving nominee in a category actually winning (minus Ledger of course)? "Man On Wire" wins Best Documentary, as it should have. Go see this now.
9:25 p.m. : Will Smith gives out four awards in a row. He's struggling. Probably should have brought up Jazz with him. "Benjamin Button" wins Outstanding Visual Effects, "The Dark Knight" wins Outstanding Sound Editing, "Slumdog Millionare" wins Outstanding Sound Mixing and Outstanding Film Editing.
9:41 p.m. : Eddie Murphy gives the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to Jerry Lewis. Sadly, Lewis does not scold Murphy for the past decade of his career.
9:53 p.m. : Efron and Alicia Keys present Best original score to "Slumdog Millionaire". I'm beginning to think the Academy just gave up and slated the rest of the awards for SM.
10:05 p.m. : Liam Neeson and Freida Pinto give Best Foreign Language Film to "Departures", a Japanese film. Sadly,
10:10 p.m. : Queen Latifah presents the montage for those in the film industry who passed in 2008. The once prominent female rapper sings distractingly throughout. They've used two Coldplay songs already tonight, why not go for the trifecta instead of the Queen getting a solo?
10:18 p.m. : Reese Witherspoon presents Best Director to Danny Boyle for "Slumdog Millionaire". We'll go ahead and pretend it is for "Trainspotting" or "28 Days Later".
10:27 p.m. : Shirley Mclaine, Marion Cotillard,
It was awesome to see "Homicide" veteran Melissa Leo nominated for "
10:38 p.m. : Adrien Brody, Robert De Niro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins and Michael Douglas present Best Actor.
Sean Penn wins for "Milk" and Ang Lee punches a hole in the closest wall.
Mickey Rourke really got robbed tonight. His performance in "The Wrestler" was untouchable in 2008.
Also, Richard Jenkins's work in "The Visitor" was spectacular. Watch that film and then his work in "Step Brothers" as a double feature. Like I always say, a night of Jenkins is a night of smiles.
10:47 p.m. : Steven Spielberg presents a montage of past Best Pictures and then the award. I will give you three guesses as to what film won. Hint *It rhymes with "Slumdog Millionaire".*
My apologies to Jonathan Demme and Darren Aronofsky, for not getting the appropriate love for superior pics. I know that should soften the blow.
Overall, a three hour nap would have been more productive than sitting through this yawner. Jackman was affable and a fine host, but this show needs to be cut down and get some humor injected. Martin and Fey would have been good or even letting Rogen and Franco get out there and just improvise would have been better.
So, Academy, fix up and look sharp. This night doesn't have to be such a bore.
Luke McCormick can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or lmccorm2@siu.edu
"Siskel" = McCormick?
Just last week he spent a column talking about how Nicholas Cage used to make good movies. This week, watch as McCormick uses Cage's horrible movies to toss out jabs at people who point out his obvious flaws as a writer.
Congrats on spelling millionaire right, it is good to see you can admit your fault there. Yet, I still see Raquel Welch standing proudly up there.
Honestly, this article is the most popular on Siude.com and if it is riddled with mispellings and errors, that reflects bad on the paper. I don't care if you want to call it a "blog," Siskel. The fact remains that it is something that is going on-line on a NEWSPAPER web-site for everyone to read. I don't care if it is unedited on-the-spot reactions, it doesn't mean you can just slap a poorly written recap on siude.com.
I'm not an English Major, I'm just someone that expects a well written article on the Oscars. I was hoping for some intelligent perspective from the writer and instead I am treated to a lackluster attempt at humor and snootiness.
Luke "Whine & Cheese" McCormick should try harder if he wants to be taken seriously, or slap "BLOG BLOG BLOG" all over the top of this article to free him from the contraints of being professional.
Your comments would be interesting if you were someone who had an actual opinion about MOVIES and the OSCARS. Maybe you are just confused because there was something beyond renting "National Treasure 2" as a movie highlight in 2008.
"Man on Wire" still a movie that nobody will be able to see since nobody really cares about it. McCormick still planning that 3 and half hour nap after gorging on nachos and spelling "Millionaire" wrong.
Who wants to be a millionaire? Not Luke McCormick, because he can't spell it.
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