It's that magical time of year again, when all the leaves have fallen, the Thanksgiving turkey has been made into 8 million sandwiches and the people of America trample Wal-Mart employees to get HDTVs. Yes, it's Christmastime!
With so many movies and shows devoted to the season already out on DVD, it can be a little overwhelming for the average consumer. What to watch? When to watch it? Can we really spend another Christmas without seeing "Silent Night, Deadly Night"? Here, for your pleasure, is a somewhat comprehensive guide for what to watch and when to watch it during this magical month. Results may vary, but Christmas spirit will be in high supply.
TO GET INTO THE SPIRIT: Watch all the old animated Christmas specials on ABC family. They show Rudolph, the Grinch, Frosty and a myriad other animated shows with puppets and Santa. A great movie to watch at this time is "Elf," which is just about the most delightful Christmas movie, featuring Will Ferrell burping and getting tackled by a little person.
BEFORE GOING TO SHOP: "Jingle All The Way," that classic Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy, is a nice children's movie and a commentary on the over-the-top commercialism of the holiday. If you feel like torturing yourself, the awful "Christmas with the Kranks" carries a similar message until the end, when it becomes schmaltzy and stupid.
WHEN YOU'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH CHRISTMAS CHEER: Only two choices here: "Bad Santa," which is the biggest middle finger the Christmas season could have possibly gotten and is also completely hilarious, and the 1974 horror movie "Black Christmas," where a mad slasher goes nuts in a sorority house on Christmas eve. It was the precursor to "Halloween" and the subject of a really bad 2006 remake.
BEFORE YOU GO TO VISIT THE RELATIVES: Watch "Christmas Vacation." Not only is it funny, but after spending two hours with the Griswolds, you can be thankful that no matter how dysfunctional and bizarre your family is, they will never be as insane as Chevy Chase's clan. Another good choice: "The Family Stone" for a more dramatic and awkward affair and Sarah Jessica Parker's enormous schnozz.
CHRISTMAS EVE: This is a tricky one, since TBS will be playing "A Christmas Story" all day and that seems like the obvious pick. A better choice might be "Meet Me In St. Louis," which has the most depressing version of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" ever sung or "The Polar Express," which brings back the childlike wonder of Christmas and belief and features Tom Hanks as Santa Claus. The ending is tear-worthy.
CHRISTMAS DAY: Well, you made it through the holiday, and with the new year coming up, "It's A Wonderful Life" is the perfect choice. If you want your New Year a little bleaker, rent Kathryn Bigelow's "Strange Days" to see what the people of 1995 thought the 2000 New Year celebration would look like.
There you have it, a comprehensive guide to what to watch during the holidays. Be sure to utilize the Blockbuster early and often, because these titles never stay on the shelves for long, especially after the masses read this list.
Wes Lawson can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or w4027@siu.edu.
