"In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale"
Rated: PG-13
Starring: Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, Ron Perlman
Directed by Uwe Boll
Runtime: 124 min
Somewhere along the line, a group of Hollywood producers decided America -- war-gripped and with an economic recession looming upon the horizon -- was in desperate need of a spirit booster. Their answer to these woes was a dungeon siege. This is understandable, given the nation's past fixations with dungeons and sieges. It is only natural that one should combine the two.
The result is "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."
The story revolves around Farmer (Statham) -- who by a strange coincidence is an actual farmer. His seemingly simple life is disrupted by an invading army of Krugs, a barbarous race of extras wearing rubber body suits and masks, controlled by an evil sorcerer named Gallian (Liotta).
After the death of his son and the kidnapping of his wife, Farmer vows to avenge whatever it is that needs avenging. Soon, he joins forces with King Konreid (Reynolds) to kill Gallian and rescue his wife from -- you guessed it -- a dungeon.
It is worth noting before going any further that director Uwe Boll currently has 3 films listed in the Internet Movie Database's infamous "Bottom 100." Among these, "House of the Dead," his highest charter, ranks in at a respectable #27 -- right between "Santa with Muscles" and "Snowboard Academy."
With this in mind, it becomes easier to understand the film's plethora of unforgettable performances and sequences.
The actors are aware of little more than their lines and what direction their characters are supposed to move. Most of the time, they do not even appear to be conscious of each other. Take Matthew Lillard, for example. Despite the fact none of the other actors changed their voices to fit the medieval setting, Lillard saw it fit to use an Old English accent. He was apparently too busy overacting to notice everyone else was on autopilot.
Meanwhile, the battle scenes are comparable to the choreographed, spandex-wearing antics of "The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers." The bad guys flip around, get kicked and fall down -- never to be heard from again. And despite the presence of swords, there is never any blood.
In the end, "A Dungeon Siege Tale" is more of a tragedy than a "Lord of the Rings"-esque adventure yarn, given the reduced status of its former A-list actors. It can only be described as sad to see Burt Reynolds and his much-celebrated mustache wallow through the indignity of the computer-generated cheesiness of a movie based off of a video game. It also hurts to see Ray Liotta dressed like a magician from 1980s Las Vegas -- a far cry away from his more stylish attire in "Goodfellas."
But even with its faults, if you find yourself in the mood for a dungeon-related tale of siege, you can probably do not better than "A Dungeon Siege Tale" -- possibly because there are no others.
Devin Vaughn can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or dvaughn@siude.com.
