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You love money, and you love doing everything in your power to get more, don't you Hollywood?
No one can blame you. If your audience had half the money you had, well, we wouldn't be watching you anymore. We'd probably be out making our own movies and television shows to watch instead.
Which, after watching the beginning of the seventh season of "American Idol," this everything-Hollywood junkie wishes she could do just that.
It seems like a lifetime ago when they crowned Kelly Clarkson, a waitress from Texas, the American Idol in 2002. That was back when the show mattered. It was new, and the idea of a glorified karaoke contest to find America's next big pop music sensation was interesting. People couldn't get enough of it.
Now you've carted out your newest crop of hopefuls that aren't so wide-eyed and na've to the business, like prize pigs just before the slaughter. It's sort of cute that you'll have them compete for a few weeks and let the fans pick the winner, when deep down we know you're probably going to give all the contestants record deals at some point and time.
See: Bucky Covington, Katharine McPhee, Elliott Yamin, Kellie Pickler, Clay Aiken, Justin Guarini, Kimberley Locke, Jennifer Hudson, Bo Bice, Blake Lewis, Chris Daughtry, etc.
It's no secret that one of this year's contestants has already had a record deal with MCA Records - Irish sensation Carly Smithson. Contestant Robbie Carrico was a member of a boy-girl band who went on tour with Britney Spears.
So, please explain Hollywood, with experienced contestants this season and some that have been overlooked in past seasons, how can you hope to have the same innocent charm "American Idol" had?
Let this columnist be the first to clarify - we love you "American Idol." In season five when blue-eyed soul singer Taylor Hicks was an unlikely winner, it probably took a fleet of post office trucks to deliver this rabid-voting fan's phone bill.
But it was clear then that the silver-haired-at-age-29 Hicks probably shouldn't have won. He was fun, put on a good show and seemed like a breath of fresh air from a charismatic old soul among heavy younger singers. But he wasn't the most musically talented, and probably won't have the best career out of that season.
What you need to admit, Hollywood is your program that seems to scour the country for the next great pop star is really looking for the next great cash cow.
"American Idol" is still a ratings juggernaut, with almost 24 million viewers Wednesday night alone, according to the Nielsen ratings. With so many people who love it, you can't stop the show.
But maybe you should admit you're just parading these hopefuls out there to earn a few million more dollars from whatever they decide to do with their newfound careers - whether it is singing or advertising hair products a la McPhee.
It isn't about the music, Hollywood. It's doubtful that it ever was. So maybe it's time to drop the ruse and realize your audience knows your secret - you're just about the money.
So please, just let us enjoy the televised karaoke without the pretense that whoever wins is the next great whatever. We know better.
Alicia Wade can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or awade@siude.com.
